Concerned of an Imagined Future

Most of the problems that make me anxious are those which most of the time don’t even exist. I have an irrational fear of what might come in the future. Concerns over work, my goals, my relationships with other people. I can end up spending so much of my life threatened by an unknown future that it can impede on my current life.

I stopped and considered that by always looking towards the future I miss out living in the current moment, the most important thing of all. 

If you don’t live in the now then you don’t live at all, you just limit your time to analysing moments that have yet to come. Moments which may never come. 

It's part of the reason I don’t like questions such as “where do you see yourself five years from now?”. In the space of five years a lot of chances can happen, I could change what career I want to work in, I might want to move to a completely new place or worse I could end up with a serious injury or illness. If I was to think where I would like to be five years from now I would firstly like to still be alive and then secondly to be healthy and happy.

I try to be more aware of when my mind starts to wane and look too far forward. I want to be more present, present when in the company of others, present as I do my work, present when I am doing new experiences.  

Going forward I’d like to aim to be present. I don't want to waste an evening debating in my mind how work will play out days from now. I don't want to be concerned if what I am writing will be worthwhile. I want to become present.